North Korea finally gets it up

Yesterday, North Korean media finally had the delight of reporting that the military has managed to get a three-stage rocket clear of the ground without it ending up in the sea. Koreans are said to be “very proud” of the launch, aimed at placing a satellite into orbit to deliver Kim Jong-un’s upgraded Blue-Sky TV package.

The unconventional opening ceremony which was broadcast on state TV featured the supreme leader blessing the end of the missile for luck; however, delays were encountered after the control centre encountered difficulty erecting the 30m long beast into the vertical position. The embarrassment was short lived however, and was duly censored out of the broadcast until successful lift off commenced at 00:49 GMT, watched eagerly by Japan.

The official military spokesman said: “The launch was great success. The seed of our supreme leader’s new Blue-Sky TV satellite programme was firmly thrust into space and is expected to be operational within the next few days. It will eventually deliver first class Super HD TV to all of our peoples featuring state TV channels 1 – 10 and our leader’s personal channel, which will premiere the new upcoming TV show ‘A Day in the Life of Un.”

UN officials have condemned the launch as violating resolutions imposed on North Korea; however, experts are clear that given the six years it’s taken to facilitate a successful launch after the first failure back in 2006, North Korean missiles won’t be posing a threat anytime soon.