Merry Christmas Ma’am: Britain reasserts its claim to land it doesn’t own.

Britain today shows it hasn’t lost its colonial heritage by reasserting claims to no man’s land in Antarctica, presenting the Queen with an early Christmas present comprising 169,000 square miles of prime Antarctic real estate, now known as 'Queen Elizabeth Land'.

 

Queen Elizabeth Land (Red) offers spectacular sea views, a few penguins and ample acreage for snowball fights.

The frozen desert, which was previously unnamed, falls within British Antarctic Territory, Argentine Antarctica, Chilean Antarctic Territory or For God’s Sake Leave One Place On Earth Untouched Territory, depending on where you come from.

Despite claimants having a ‘if you recognise my claim I’ll recognise yours’ type agreement, most other countries do not recognise land grabbing in Antarctica and the 1959 Antarctic Treaty prevents the prospecting of oil, gas and minerals other than for scientific research. The treaty preventing unscrupulous activity on Queen Elizabeth Land will come under review in 2048, where changes can be made by unanimous agreement of all parties. 

The Queen is said to be delighted with her acquisition though insisted she did not wish to be mined for oil; however, sources suggest that scientists have an underground global agreement to never find anything useful on the continent in order to prevent incompetent politicians making a mess.