“Dirt digging gravel monkeys think they’re too good for back-to-work schemes” says senior politician.

Geologists armed with their rock collections and hammers have taken to the streets in protest at comments made, suggesting they are less important than supermarket shelf stackers. This follows an angry rebuttal by the 10,000 strong Geological Society of London in response to the shelf-stacking jibe.

 

A spokesperson said: “Without geologists they wouldn’t even have the shelves to stack, that’s before we come to the food grown with minerals mined for fertilisers and transported with fuel we discovered. We certainly consider ourselves pretty important in the grand scheme of things.”

We don’t all spend our time examining rocks you know.

A geologist questioned about the issue said she didn’t spend three years in a top education establishment only to be told she had to stack shelves in a discount store for £70 a week while she waits for her high salary calling, forcing her to give up her voluntary job at a local museum where she tended the rock collection and shared her knowledge with the visitors.

Geologists United added: “We spend time in harsh, dangerous environments, from North Sea oil rigs to extensive mine networks, or prospecting in the untamed rainforest with all those biting insects and poisonous critters. That said, we value the box opening and product placing skills professed by shelf stackers in their high-pressure air-conditioned environment and would at least consider our professions equal.”